there was this one new year’s eve i spent sitting in front of my computer waiting for the clock to hit midnight so i could be the first person to submit a drawing to deviantart
I was stoned out of mind and wrote this last night:
Angry with life because you were ‘forced’ to be where you are now instead of getting to choose to move away
- doesn’t feel there is a choice, or they have options
- doesn’t feel deserving of the better option and that there is no point in ‘trying’/ effort is futile
- closed feelings about surroundings (people, aesthetic, music, food, intelligences) and the ‘flaws’ in each ‘thing’ are the focus, obvious
- solutions to a better ‘how it should be’ are dreamed up to solve obvious issues, but not put into motion because of
% lack of self worth
% lack of optimism, focus is only on ‘worst possible outcome’
Overall has a very good life, but only sees the problem and each. Solutions are never acted upon, which if they were, would be both effective and profitable.
Go for it
Go for it
Go for it
You got this
you are more than capable, this is a fact. You are a vert fast learner because you are observant and have an eye for memorizing strange things.
You have an eye for feel
You have an ear for music
You are an artist inside and you
You are a rennaisance girl
You couldbe so many things if you applied yourself. Think of the career options you have considered because you thought you would be good at them.
- zoo keeper
- radio dj
- cooking (if you quit being afraid. Food is an art like every other, there is no right and wrong. There is happy and unhappy, Feelings received through sense is called taste.
Life is not over unless you want it to be
The only way your story would end with you being kicked out and since-then spiraled downard is killing yourself. Be honest, and honest isn’t always negative. It isn’t always positive. But it’s always the truth. Accept it.
Accept the things you need to improve on, which you CAN DO. You will only go as far as you let yourself. It will be uncomfortable being ‘wrong’ for a while. Push yourself pas that to where you know there is no wrong,
and where everyone is jealous of you skills. You can easily get there, just make it your focus. The good. The improvement. The belief. Let this take up the detail-lovng part of your brain. Become obsessed with
something new, something that makes your brain feel good. and the earth feel good. The vibes and the green and the wind.
h u l a h o o p i n g
stained glass and mosaics
jump off the third platform
russian and all languages
learning all the rules of baseball
get good at a sport
trying new foods
watching new movies
piercings -nose, ears,
do what you want.
the beauty of life is that none of it matters
HOLY SHIT I ALMosT FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE BEST SHIT HAPPENED TO mE EVER TODAY
SO today was my first day at my new job (Noodles and Company) and I was running food and when I was getting a tray to take I looked up at the line and that fuckin’ attarctive mother fucker I met in the forest the day that I did acid was in line!
AND HE FUCKING WORKS THERE
Oh man. I haven’t had butterflies like that in a long time.
herrrrrrrrrrng yes pls come to mama
“sorry I can’t go out tonight i’m too busy being sad”